I watched a Sky original film last night, named Blacklight. I want my money back. Liam Neeson, what are you doing?

Categories: General

See you later, Babes.

January 21, 2022 17 comments

Yesterday we laid Eileen to rest, facing the afternoon sun and beside an old friend. We did it in the traditional Scottish way, her loving family lowering her coffin into the earth. She took a piece of my heart with her. I don’t have much left. All I can do now is walk my dog, write and miss her.

Categories: Uncategorized


October 12, 2021 Leave a comment

So, this report that’s causing all the fuss: it’s the work of back bench Tory MPs, some of whom will be bitter because they aren’t front bench, and opposition members with axes to grind. Plus, one of the principal witnesses was the loathsome Cummings whose axe is jumbo sized.

At the beginning of the day and the end, it’s a collective opinion, but no way is it impartial.

Categories: General, Politics

Keep out!!!

October 9, 2021 2 comments

This is how the members of the Honourable Company of Edinburgh Golfers, aka Muirfield, choose to enclose their course. That stuff isn’t a holdover from bygone times, it’s new and rust-free.

Why stop there, ladies and gentlemen? Razor wire would convey the message even more effectively.

Categories: General, Pics

Award winner

October 5, 2021 1 comment

Congratulations, Royal Mail, on picking up today’s F****** Useless trophy. I am trying to buy postage on line. I’ve gone through the process of creating an order with no difficulty. Now I am trying to pay for it. There are two methods on offer, PayPal or directly inputting card details. I’ve tried both, only to spend a frustrating half hour watching a screen that is supposed to be card authentication, but is instead a roadblock robbing me of half an hour… so far … when I could have been doing something worthwhile.


Categories: General


September 21, 2021 Leave a comment

I have nothing but time for the medical practice that has looked after my family and me for half a century. Sad then that it seems NHS Scotland doesn’t trust it any more.

The annual flu’ jab programme has never been more important and yet it has been taken out of GPs’ hands, to be run through regional vaccination hubs. Already, 80-year-olds are receiving appointment letters. One that I have seen tells the patient to report to a centre 30 miles away at 9am on a given date. Does that person drive? No. How will he get to the venue? That appears to be his problem. in theory he can change the location on line. In practice he can’t but in any event not all the target group use the internet. In theory he can do it by phone, if he is prepared to waste one of his precious remaining hours waiting for his call to be answered.

My wife is housebound. Her vaccinations are done by district nurses. How will she be fitted into the system? They. Don’t. Know!

It’s clear that the letters have been sent out far too early. This essential project is a shambles: people are confused and alarmed. God save us from Professor Leitch.

Categories: General, Politics

Own goal?

September 15, 2021 Leave a comment

Gove has responsibility for the Union?


Categories: Politics

Shame, shame.

September 2, 2021 Leave a comment

On Sunday I put a specific question to the Scottish Government Central Enquiry Unit. I was expecting visitors from an amber list country, one not fully vaccinated the other 11 years old. Their visit was for seven days. Each was required to take a PCR test on Day 2. The adult was required to quarantine , the child was exempt.

Like all arrivals in the U.K. they were required to buy test kits from Corporate Travel Management, the outfit commissioned by HMG to run the portal. However, the portal only sells kits with two tests, the second being for Day 8. There is no alternative offered to minors or to those who are staying for less than eight days.

My question addressed this anomaly. It took the Scottish Government four days to respond and then the reply was automated and did not answer the question. The truth is that there is no option. My visitors were forced to buy four tests at £68 a time, even though two of them will never be used.

There are two issues here. One is the basic principle of the government designing a shoddy system and the handing it over to a commercial organisation that will profit from the rip-off. The other is the contempt shown by the Scottish Government by its obvious lack of concern for those who put it in place.

Categories: General, Politics


The game isn’t the same without crowds.

Categories: Sport


August 14, 2021 1 comment
Categories: Politics


I am one track into Butter Miracle and already I am smiling. Only Adam Duritz would use ‘ossifies’ in a lyric. Adam Duritz is and always has been more than just a songwriter. He’s a poet. He’s a genius.

Categories: General

Not before time

August 11, 2021 2 comments
Categories: General

New balls

August 8, 2021 3 comments

Simon Holmes, my least favourite Sky pundit, has a new phrase: ‘unforced error’. If his studio companion has any mischief about her, maybe she’ll ask him how an error in golf can be anything other than unforced.

Categories: Sport


August 7, 2021 1 comment

I have just seen what I reckon to be the pole-sitter in any contest to choose the worst TV ad ever. It’s for a product called Manscape and it was shown on Eurosport. Possibly because ITV and Sky refused it?

Categories: General

Doctor, No.

August 2, 2021 7 comments

When Irene, AJ, Susie and I arrived in Gullane, 50 years ago last May, Spud Bennett was the primary school headmaster, Doctors Barr and Blackett were the GPs, and it was a question of who arrived on your doorstep first, The Welcome Wagon or Doc Whiteford, the minister. The WW led on to The Housewives’ Register, which brought people of a similar age together, the main purpose being to have parties and get very pished. Today we have Facebook, Gullane News Group, the fledgling GVA, a few hundred new high-end houses, a medical centre with more doctors than I could name, a primary school that is growing exponentially, and the same unspeakable and inaccessible beach toilets. Knowing what I know now, if we were back in 1971 and a Time Lord offered to take us 50 years into the future, would I accept? Not a chance, because I would lose out on all the friends I made then and who are still with me today, physically or in my heart. If today’s twenty and thirty somethings are half as lucky, they’ll have done alright.

Categories: General

Stephen Sondheim

This is clear. The Holyrood Committee into the Scottish Government’s handling of the Salmond affair has voted along party lines, which makes its findings utterly useless, and all the time and money that has been diverted from public service has been shamefully wasted. The opposition parties saw it as an opportunity to embarrass, even remove, Nippy, and the SNP members rallied behind her.

It’s all been electioneering; for every pound spent there’s a child with special needs who could have had more help or a hole in the road that could have been filled.

Send in the clowns: don’t bother, they’re here.

Categories: Politics


This is a quote from a reputable news outlet, one that’s always up with the times.

‘The unrivalled queen of the celebrity sit-down, who has, over the past three decades, extracted raw and revelatory intimacies from Michael Jackson, Lance Armstrong and Whitney Houston, among many others, said yesterday, in the wake of the Sussexes’ incendiary interview, that she “could not believe” the things the couple were telling her.’

Change just one word and that’s what Piers Morgan said.

Categories: General


February 12, 2021 Leave a comment

Having watched most of the Trump prosecution evidence on CNN, I reckoned that his lawyers were going to have to up their game from their opening statement.

Then I realised it doesn’t matter. The jury is rigged.

Categories: Politics

Excuse me?

February 3, 2021 1 comment

Is the word ‘Vanilla’ racist in this context? Or am I not allowed to ask that question?

At a time when we are striving to build a diverse and multi-cultural society, I am not certain that Sir Trevor is helping.

Categories: General, Politics

Come on Eileen

January 26, 2021 2 comments

I’m starting to get a wee bit hacked off.

While I am very happy for my 70+ friends as the white vaccination envelopes come through the letter box (even if some of the locations display a lack of joined up thinking) I am increasingly annoyed that my 80+ vulnerable wife has heard nothing at all from the NHS.

I do not deal in assurances, or even promises. Only delivery matters.

Categories: General