Quintin Jardine's blog

At a lunch party yesterday, someone announced at the table that the Chinese government had paid off the Spanish national debt, and this was seconded by my dear wife. My reaction was ‘Eh?’, so I’ve done some research. There are several accounts of what is actually happening, but they all go back to a statement by the Chinese vice-premier in the leading Spanish daily El Pais, that his country has faith in the Spanish economy and will be prepared to invest in government bond issues, as it has done in Greece and Portugal. While it doesn’t mean that cash-rich China now owns Spain, it is an encouraging vote of confidence. However it doesn’t follow that anyone in Europe can relax. There are several accounts of the situation out there, but this one is the most comprehensive.

http://www.eubusiness.com/news-eu/spain-china-finance.7xe/

The answer is yes. Indeed, he answer is always, yes. My best advice is to check regularly with http://www.campbellreadbooks.com. You’ll learn there what’s due up to a couple of months ahead.

The burden of expectation for any British player in a Grand Slam final is huge. Last time the Open golf championship was played at Muirfield, a Japanese player was briefly in the lead. You couldn’t see him on the course for the television crews surrounding him: similar situation, and the guy folded. That said, I believe that if yesterday’s final is repeated at Wimbledon, it’s a different result. However, just getting to a GS final is a major achievement. No certainty that Andy will ever do it again.

As I post this, Andy is 0 — 2 down in the Australian final and in trouble in the third set. So far, my non-support has done him no good. Can he do what he’s done before and stage a miracle comeback? I can’t watch. I’m going out for lunch. Tell me when it’s over.

To most Scots, Donald Trump was simply a name they had heard, vaguely, some sort of American property billionaire with a dodgy public profile and an even worse haircut. Then he decided that he was going to visit his munificence upon Scotland by giving us the best golf course in the world, as part of a billion dollar (everything with The Donald has to have  billion in it, apparently) resort development: that’s Trump-speak for expensive housing, folks. Problems  being 1) that he plans to locate it on some environmentally sensitive land, 2) much of that land belonged to other people, and 3) there is no demand for another world-class golf course in Scotland, there being three within a mile of my front door alone and another dozen or so scattered around the country. Then there’s the climate. I have visions of wealthy American buyers, who never heard the word ‘dreich’, far less understood it, until they turn up at their new holiday homes to discover what North sea coastal weather can be like, even in high summer.

None of that bothered The Donald; nothing seems to get in the way of his ego. His opponents were scorned and branded as idiots, as he ignored every viewpoint but his own and bulldozed ahead. And to its shame, the Scottish Government, which I support, in most things, let me and the rest of the nation down, by dropping its metaphorical pants for him, and clearing the way for his rape of the Aberdeenshire countryside.

The sensible tendency hasn’t gone away, though. They’re still fighting as hard as they can, as this piece by my old acquaintance Frank Urquhart makes clear.

http://www.scotsman.com/news/Queen-legend-Brian-May-backs.6706202.jp

In it, you will see The Donald’s claim that he is doing  this for his mother, born on the Isle of Lewis. Eh? He’s building her a golf course? I wonder what her handicap was . . . apart from having this arrogant arsehole for a son. What’s he like, this man, this corporate Genghis Khan? What makes him believe he can do what he does? There may be a clue in his lineage. His grandmother’s maiden surname was, believe it or not, Christ. Before he ruins any more lives, maybe he should take another look at the New Testament.

A Burns Supper in Spain? You scoffed, at my last post, I know you did. Well you should try it. An absolutely great night, put together by Alan and Fergus, with the co-operation of the mayor of Rupia who gave them the venue on condition that some tickets were available for locals who fancied it. Quite a few did. I do not know what they made of Holy Willie’s Prayer, or Fergus Muirhead’s word-perfect and energetic Tam O’Shanter, but they were no more bemused than the very sociable English and Dutch couples who shared our table, or indeed than my dear wife. They now know that ‘Cutty Sark’ is more than the name of a clipper ship.

Thanks Alan, and thanks, Fergus. You may know him as BBC Scotland’s money expert, but he’s much more. You can find him on

http://www.fergusmuirhead.com/

Pics from Rupia on my Facebook page.

An absolute first for me tonight. It’s years since I’ve been to a Burns supper of any sort, and that was very local, improvised by a bunch of friends. But I have never, absolutely never, been to one in Spain. The forthcoming gig is in the village hall in Rupia, about half an hour away, and Eileen and I will be chumming the irrepressible Kathy Crawford, lady of this parish. It’s organised by the multi-talented Fergus Muirhead, who manages to combine being BBC Scotland’s resident financial expert with being a noted Burnsian, and if that wasn’t enough, trebling as coach of the Barcelona Pipe Band. (Seriously.)

My pleasure, sir. A small measure of my admiration for your selfless ability to get up at God knows when and drag yourself in to Forth Street to entertain the listening public. You’re half way through your show, and I’m still struggling to awaken, so more power to you. I’m sure you’ll have noted that, unlike Spike Thomson, you were credited under your real name.

This week’s special offer from Campbell Read Books’ catalogue of signed QJ novels, is £3 off the trade paperback of Inhuman Remains. For details, click the link on the right.

There is a big debate in Scottish football about the present shape of the Premier League. The proposition on the table, and we are told, likely to be approved, is a two-league set-up with a ten club top tier, the bottom club being relegated and the second bottom involved in a  play-off with the runner-up in SPL2. It seems that member teams are being manoeuvred into supporting this silly plan on the basis that anything else is not financially viable.

The thinking behind this is that the smaller clubs need to be playing Rangers and Celtic four times each season to maintain a sufficient level of income. However their chairmen seemed to have failed to notice that the clubs with most to gain from this set-up are Rangers and Celtic themselves, as Old Firm matches are these days the only ones where a full house can be guaranteed, even in the smallest of grounds. They are also glossing over the fact that in an expanded twenty club, two tier SPL, half of the member clubs will not be playing Celtic or Rangers at all. There is also the proposition for the likes of  Inverness, Ross County , Kilmarnock, St Mirren, who might slip from the SPL1 with potentially 20% of the clubs being relegated every year, and the hard-core addicts who are their travelling support, having to slog up and down the A9 four times a season in SPL2, cost far outweighing income, becoming poorer and more and more dispirited, while the two top dogs, who have been wagging the tail all along, laugh all the way to the bank and continue to monopolise the lucrative European slots.

It’s not too late to stop this madness, so please, Mr Boyle, Mr Romanov, Mr Thompson, Sir Tom, etc, see sense, listen to the fans and give them what they want, a 16 club league, the kind that worked very well when I was a lad, before greed overcame everyone. You can ensure financial stability by capping expenditure, as well as by increasing income. This could be done in several ways; for example, by requiring that at kick-off the majority of players on the field and on the bench have come through the clubs’ own youth development structure, and also, by banning loan signings from clubs outside the SPL, a cheap way of fattening squads at the expense of young, developing Scots players.

There was a time: ten members of the greatest club side in our history, the Lisbon Lions of 1967, were born in Glasgow, and the eleventh came from just outside the city. Jock Stein wouldn’t have dreamt of borrowing a striker from Blackburn bloody Rovers. We can do that again, as they still do in Croatia, Uruguay, Slovakia, the Czech Republic, and other nations of a similar size to Scotland, all of them internationally competitive and with viable domestic leagues. Our national  game started to decline when we stopped believing in ourselves. That happened in 1978. It’s time we forgot that and recovered our pride. We might not beat the whole world, but we are at least as good as most of it.

So Andy’s in the final. I do care, honest, but I’m determined not to say so, or to lumber the lad with the fact that I am the world’s worst pundit. To be tipped by me is the kiss of death; not since Ali beat Liston in 1964 have I got one right.

A propos de the question in my last post, Norah Rothwell, a frequent correspondent from Oz, has sent me an explanation. The best (and easiest) thing for me to do is to quote her in full, so here goes.

‘As I understand it the levy will not apply to anyone who received an initial disaster relief payout from the government of $1000 per adult and/or $400 per child. This wasn’t means tested and was rorted by many in my opinion. Over 250,000 Queenslanders have collected the payment. This could be for a house totally flooded (deserving) or for being cut off from or unable to leave their homes for 24 hours (not so deserving). The same payment for both. Anyway back to your query. The government will be able to access information on people who have received these payments via their tax file numbers and government agencies. I wonder if the cost of administering this levy will not outweigh the income derived. As well there is a lot of anxiety here in Queensland as to how the donations to the relief fund will be distributed. A means test is being considered and many who dug deep to donate are not happy with this. But the fund is only half of what was collected at the time of the horrific fires in Victoria and the numbers affected more than double so it is a problem. I have no objection to a one off levy but who is to stay it may not become a permanent one. I don’t have a lot of faith in the words of a politician.’

Thanks, Norah. I’m as cautious about you are. Democratic politicians the world over are always in the same position; that is, facing an election, some sooner, some later. They know they can’t please all of the people all of the time, and they know that some of those people will vote for them or against them regardless, because they always have, so the trick is to persuade enough of the people in the middle, for enough of the time. To that end they will do what they perceive to be the most popular thing. That usually involves giving people money, not taking it from them. They may not quite believe in their own policies, but they do believe in themselves and that their own election is in their nation’s best interests, so they’re quite happy to fudge around the edges. The only thing I know about Julia Gillard is that she didn’t hesitate to put a knife in the back of her predecessor, in whose government she served. We’ve had recent experience of that in Britain, so on that basis alone, I wouldn’t be trusting her for a minute.

The Australian prime minister has come up with an interesting idea, she’s announced a tax, to be levied over the next twelve months, to help pay for the devastating damage caused by this year’s massive floods. As I read it, Julie Gillard’s already shaky popularity has taken a hit lately.  If that’s so this will either rehabilitate her or bury her. I get the principle, butI’m not so sure about the practice. It seems that people who have suffered from the calamity will not pay. How will they know who’s who? Help please, Aussie visitors. (Yes Fred, that includes you too, although I appreciate that you may be in mourning. I heard a {non-PC} story about a little boy who wants to be adopted by the Hibs football team. You’ll understand why.)

Unusual thing happening in Spain; unusual lately that is. It’s raining, and it will persist for the next few days, according to the forecast. Good. I’m selfish, and I like it to rain when I’m working.

My small flutter paid off last night. The Silent Witness cast has not been reduced by one. The way the writers did it stretched credulity a little, but Doctor Harry did indeed have a miraculous escape from a fiery fate, and went on to ‘save the ******* day,’ in the unforgettable words of Cameron Poe. Why was I so sure that this would happen? Well . . . no, I’m not saying.

I’m still not signing up to the hysteria. Okay, so Andy’s in the semi, but the guy he’s playing just beat Nadal. Okay, so it’s now possible for him to  win the thing without having to play either of the top two. But he won’t, not just because he’s a British tennis player, bearing a burden of history that’s just too great, but because he’s Scottish, a member of a nation whose destiny is always to piss in the soup. (A Chris Hoy only happens once in a century.)

Best keep low expectations and be magnificently surprised than build up one’s hopes and have them dashed.

Ice on the pool again this morning: an odd event for L’Escala but not as odd as something else that happened. We have a duck that’s actually a thermometer and floats around freely. This morning, when the ice began to break I went out and saw that there were two, thermo-duck and a smaller version, without appendage, floating along behind like a duckling. My first thought was that it was one of Mia’s toys and that one of the dogs had dropped it in, but no, there are no ducks in her  inventory. So, where the duck did it come from? Dunno, but I have my suspicions.

How the hell do you make me feel sorry for Andy Gray? I’d thought it impossible, but it wasn’t. Here’s how you do it.

You’re Barney Francis, managing director of Sky Sports, you dig out a five second piece of video in which Gray throws a silly aside to a female colleague who either didn’t hear it, ignored it, or didn’t take offence, then you describe it as ‘new evidence’ when it’s been sitting there for over a month and you use it as an excuse for canning a guy who’s been the face of your football coverage for  twenty years, and who happens to be past his sell-by date. I won’t miss Andy, but Barney Francis . . . what a shit!

Isn’t the Andy Gray/Richard Keys thing becoming a little bit silly? Leaving aside the fact that I can’t stand either of them and will not mourn their disappearance from the telly, the manner of it is something else. Two men had a private conversation, unaware that a colleague would record it then release its contents to the world. That’s what happened. Now they are being pilloried, yet we hear from Sky that there will be no internal investigation into the eavesdropping and  the leak. As an old and very non-PC mate of mine used to say, that is a Zulu’s left leg, neither right nor fair. (By repeating that remark, I invite the attentions of the PC police, but that’s the world we live in.) Let Sky fall on those two,  if they broke its company rules, but the world deserves to know exactly who ratted on them. So why isn’t that happening? Is it because the guilty party is a woman? If she is, let her have the guts to stand up. If not, let him be identified, in which event it will be interesting to see, next time he goes into a pub, say in the Midlands where Andy Gray lives, whether he’s bought drinks all night or has the shit kicked out of him.

As more and more commentators (But not Karen Brady)  are pointing out, there is an ITV show called Loose Women, which is rampantly sexist, yet no exception is taken because all of it is directed against men. Should that be taken off the air? Of course not, because it’s loads of fun, and most of us guys have thick skin. By the way in case anyone thinks I don’t understand the difference between that and Andygate, I do. One is public entertainment, the other was private comment.

In the passing, after catching some of last night’s Sky game, will a football club please employ Sam Allardyce. He’s much more entertaining in the dug-out than in the commentary box.

Oh yes, and one other thing, my last word on the subject. How can anyone seriously consider Andy Gray to be sexist? It’s a matter of record that he loves women. He has to; he’s fathered five children by four of them.

Fans of Silent Witness, and I’m one, lately, will be in mourning across the land this morning. The trailer warned us that Harry was in for a hard time, but no way could anyone have predicted that by the end of episode one of a two parter he’d have found the butchered body of his pregnant girl-friend, been falsely accused of her murder, been pursued all over Budapest by corrupt cops and ferocious Ukrainian mafioso, seen his rescuer, a fat ex-Communist street person assassinated before his eyes and finally shot through the head himself and cremated in the street, just as Leo, fairly useless in a rumble anyway, it must be said, arrived on the scene, too late to save the day.

So that’s it. The team is down to two, and Tom Ward is moving on to another series. (Maybe to play Skinner, who knows?) Or is he? Can they really wipe out the lead character in mid story? Looks that way, for five or six gunshots at close range, a can of petrol and a match are generally pretty conclusive. Or are they? I wouldn’t put the house on it, but I’ll have a small flutter with Victor Chandler that some how he will rise, literally from the ashes before tonight’s episode is over. Why am I modestly confident of this? Because, if you know where to find it, there’s a spoiler out there.

By the way, if the Hungarian tourist ministry had any involvement with the story, did they know what they were getting into? Lovely city, but hardly the endorsement they’d have wanted.