Quintin Jardine's blog

This is a special word for the guy in the Audi TT who insisted on parking his silver surfer motor this afternoon in a clearly designated private area outside my house, and refused to move when I proved to him that it isn’t public space. An earlier operating system of QJ might have reacted differently to the situation; the current version wished him a happy day and walked off, content in the knowledge that I was right and reasonable, while he was wrong, rude and a complete dick-head.

I’m a BMW driver. A few years ago there was a joke which went as follows:

Q ‘What’s the difference between God and a BMW driver?’

A ‘God doesn’t think he’s a BMW driver.’

I am pleased that for BMW we may now substitute Audi TT. As witness I offer the unnamed officer of Lothian and Borders Police to whom I spoke for guidance on the legal situation. When I mentioned the vehicle in question, he muttered something that sounded very like ‘That says it all.’