Quintin Jardine's blog

This is true: an old school chum told me a worrying story this morning. I quote him directly:

“I woke up swathed in bandages, in a hospital ICU, tubes entering different
parts of my body, wires monitoring every function, a gorgeous nurse
hovering over me.

“It was obvious I’d been in a serious accident.

“I heard her say, ‘You may not feel anything from the waist down.’

“I managed to mumble in reply, ‘Can I feel your tits, then?'”