Home > Uncategorized > A message from a friend

A message from a friend

Wee Bobby had just finished a new book called “How to be the Man of your Hoose” and decided he was taking action.

He barges into the kitchen and announces to his wee Scottish wife, Linda,  that “from noo oan, you need tae ken that Ah am the man o’ this hoose and ma word is law.

“So, the ‘nite you’ll prepare me a gourmet meal o’ ma choice and then, when I’m finished eating you’ll serve me a sumptuous dessert.

After dinner you’re comin up the stairs wi’ me an we’ll hae the kinda sex that a want for as long as a want it, and then you’ll run me a bath so a can relax.

You’ll wash my back, then dry me wi the towel and then help me intae ma fleecy Rangers pajamas before you massage ma hauns an feet.

Then the morra mornin, guess who’s gonnae dress me an comb ma hair?”

“Well” says Linda, “the f—ing funeral director would be my first guess”

 

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. angela stone
    February 21, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    As I nicked your joke to send to my brother I thought I would send you one.
    Proposed cuts to the National Health Service.

    The British Medical Association has weighed in on the new Prime Minister David Cameron’s health care proposals.

    The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

    The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

    The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.

    Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

    Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while the Paediatricians said, “Oh, Grow up!”

    The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

    The Surgeons were fed up with the cuts and decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

    The ENT specialists didn’t swallow it, and just wouldn’t hear of it.

    The Pharmacologists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter….”

    The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

    The Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, but the Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

    In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the arseholes in London ..

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