Quintin Jardine's blog

When I was in the PR business, my colleagues and I had as a client a whisky brand, so I learned a little about that business. I’ve forgotten most of it, but one thing that sticks in my mind is that there were two market-leading ten-year-old malts. The one that saw itself as the outright leader had a fixed policy of always being a little more expensive than its rival, so, whenever Brand B announced a price increase, Brand A would top it. (To hell with the customers.)

I couldn’t help thinking of that when I read this morning that Oxford and Cambridge are fighting to be first to raise their tuition fees to the upper annual limit of £9000, the thinking behind it being that if they don’t charge the max, they might not be seen as the best. Higher education being sold like whisky: isn’t that sad.

Never been to Ceret, but it looks nice on Google Earth. Yes, you were practically in Spain when you lived there; I can guess where you bought your petrol, when you could, but I wonder where you shopped. There are supermarkets on every corner in Catalunya these days, yet I know people who still go to Auchan in Perpignan.

There’s a new production on BBC1 this week called Outcasts; I’ve watched the first two episodes. Some positives, some negatives. On the plus side, it provides a new vehicle for Hermione (Spooks) Norris, and for the brilliant Daniel Mays (Red Riding and Ashes to Ashes). I thought it would do the same for Jamie Bamber, but the producers pulled a stroke by killing him at the end of episode one. Long way to go and the + points may extinguish the – points, but at the moment, I’m wondering what’s coming up that I haven’t seen before, and why they needed to set it in a galaxy far far away, when they could just as easily have constructed the same story line on a post apocalyptic South Uist or St Kilda, saved some money and avoided the sheer disbelief generated by the notion that in less than thirty years time, mankind will have achieved mass inter-stellar travel, yet still be fighting with 20th century automatic weapons.  There’s hope for it, but when I see that it’s being touted on BBC America, I’m left wondering whether the BBC is simply trying to create its own version of Lost and if so, why.

Should you read Skinner in chronological order? Many people do, but it’s not a serial. As you can imagine I’m asked this question often, and my standard suggestion is, start with the latest, to find out where Skinner is now. Then, if you want to, go back to the beginning and find out how he got there. Blood Red is the second book in what has become the Primavera series, following on from the nine Oz Blackstone adventures. Read it and it won’t affect your enjoyment of any of the stories that have gone before; indeed it might encourage you to read some of them. I visit your birthplace fairly often. I wouldn’t say that Edinburghers now regard it as a hub of sophistication rather than the other way round, but it’s evolving, no doubt about that.

Buoyed up by the success of my Kindle publication, Somewhere Over the Rainbow, I’ve taken a major policy decision. If I could, I’d give it away as a gesture to my friends and supporters, but current Amazon regulations don’t allow that. So I’m doing the next best thing, by pricing it as low as I can, both in the UK and US stores. Enjoy.

Just seen a piece on the BBC news channel on a cuts package put together by Manchester council. Why invent new wheezes when the old ones work so well? Asked to play their part in reducing the deficit, the city fathers pick the most popular services, put them at the top of the list for the chop and then blame the Tories, then line up the local activists to complain about it on telly. If I was one of the 1.1% of Man U fans who live in Mancunia, I’d be seriously angry at these clowns for 1) victimising the public and 2) insulting my intelligence by expecting me to believe such crap. You did it, people, you carry the can.

I have just had an email from Motherwell FC, advising me that they have just signed one Francis Jeffers. I thought that I’d left Pirates of the Caribbean analogies behind with the ejection last year of Captain Barbossa and his crew from Downing Street, but there’s something about the move that makes me think of the club I’ve been doomed to support since I was four having become a vessel of last resort for the undead of the football world. But let’s not be pessimistic; as the manager says, Motherwell has a good reputation as a place in which veterans can resurrect fading careers, and this one has only just turned 30. A quick look at his record shows a history of under-achievement, but with one shining exception. In 16 appearances for England Under 21s, Jeffers scored 13 goals. That’s a hell of a strike rate; if he can recapture anywhere near that sort of form, it may turn out to be a smart move all round.

Since the Julian Assange affair moved to Britain, I’ve been following the case as it has unfolded in our media. Until then I knew little about Wikiweaks, although, based on that sketchy knowledge I had an instinctive dislike, not necessarily of what it did, but of the way that it did it. Now I’ve read a little more about it, and him, I like both even less. Assange is a convicted computer hacker, and his life seems dedicated to invading the privacy of others; there seem to be no lines that he isn’t prepared to cross, and when I read that he’s been honoured for this by the likes of the Economist and Amnesty International, and by Sam Adams Associates, a group set up to celebrate whistle-blowing, I think less of those organisations. In my own small way, I have a right to privacy, and I believe that the Governments which I help to elect should have, in some very sensitive areas, that same basic right. Thirty years ago, I signed the Official Secrets Act, as I was required to to before taking up a government post. I respected that, and I still do. There are laws to protect me and to protect governments, and those who set out to break them should be brought to account. Bu that’s not the immediate issue, is it.

The crimes of which Assange is accused have nothing to do with Wikileaks, but they do involve an invasion of privacy in a real and physical sense. He’s accused of rape, and he is going to extraordinary lengths to avoid being sent to Sweden to be given the opportunity to clear his name. In my eyes all he’s done so far is demonstrate that he would be a worthy successor to Sepp Blatter. Through his legal team, he’s accused the prosecutor of sexism, he’s complained of trial by media (a classic coming from him) and now he has claimed that he would be denied justice if extradited. Well, Mr Assange, there are two women in  this issue who are looking for justice also, and if their rights require that you go back to face them, so be it.

BBC Breakfast this morning had one of its four minute debates on the age at which a young person may be left in charge of a child. The studio guests included the NSPCC’s head of child protection, Chris Cloke, who declared, ‘The law is silent on  this matter’. That would be in England, Chris. As a viewer was quick to point out by text the law in Scotland is outspoken and quite specific; a child may be left unattended from the age of 14, but must be 16 years old before he-she may be left in change of a minor. Call me a pedantic Scot if you will, and don’t injure yourself in the rush to do so, but as long as the B in BBC stands for British, it should be incumbent on current affairs producers to ensure that the ‘experts’ they present understand that in many areas there is no such thing as UK law. Theoretically, Mr Cloke’s mistake could have had serious consequences if left uncorrected, and if a Scottish viewer had taken him at his word.

I’m a big fan of  the new BBC Scotland building on Pacific Quay in Glasgow, and I look forward to the day when it becomes the headquarters of an independent national broadcasting organisation.

I’m taking my Spanish car (see above) in for a revision (service) tomorrow, in preparation for its ITV inspection (MOT) next week. It requires that because it’s four years old; the test certificate is valid for two years, and not until it is has been on the road for ten years, does it have to be done annually. That’s the European Union standard requirement. With the burden on motorists, and upon household budgets for those people, many of them, who cannot do without a car, reaching intolerable levels while fuel prices continue to rise and the government scratches its head trying to figure out how to make a tax regulator work, might it not be a good  idea for Britain to ease off on its regime of three year inspection, annually thereafter?

I’m glad to hear that. I know that the Headline sales staff have been working to make the books available for the Kobo e-reader, given its importance in Australia and in Canada. Enjoy.

Step forward Jeremy Peace, chairman of West Bromwich Albion, for his decision to sack Roberto di Matteo, the manager who took his perennially under-funded and undistinguished club into the Premier League in his first full season in charge, and who currently has them standing at sixteenth place. Yes, the club is only two points off the drop zone, but equally it is only five points off the top half of the table, and three of its next four games are against sides currently in the bottom four. Mr Peace says that his board felt that sacking the manager was the best possible way of staying in the top league.  I’m sure that an unemployed manager has been lined up already to fill the vacancy; God knows there are enough around. Will there ever come a day when people like Mr Peace show a little faith, a little courage, and a little loyalty? Short answer? No.

I suppose it had to happen sometime, but I did not expect Man U’s unbeaten run to end at Wolves. Now that the myth of invincibility has been shattered I fear that decline will set in and that the Reds will be happy fora top four finish. Who will win the Premier League? Arsenal, if they can overcome their tendency towards stupid red cards when leading 4 — 0. (You do realise I’m only saying this to put a curse on them?)

Somewhere Over the Rainbow, QJ’s political fantasy, is rising fast. In the Amazon Kindle UK store, it now stands at a highest ever Number Three in the political fiction listings. Will it make Number One? Time will tell.

While still on the law, I am struck by the way in which things change. There was a time when certain actions were absolutely forbidden in Scotland during the course of a criminal trial. One was the publication of any photograph of an accused before the conclusion of the trial. Publications who broke this rule could expect to be, and were, fined  for contempt of court. As recently as 2007, the Daily Record was hit with a fine; its owners sought a judicial review, but the principle was upheld. This morning, when I opened my on-line Herald, I saw on the front page an image of a woman accused of murder. This hadn’t been pulled out of the paper;s library either; she was wearing the clothes described in the report of her hearing and worse, she was in handcuffs. This case is at a relatively early stage, and hasn’t even gone to trial. I’ll watch with interest for any fall-out.

As my bio will tell you, I spent a couple of my teenage years trying, not very hard, to become a solicitor, having been manoeuvred into that position by my parents whose understanding of the world outside teaching was very limited. One of the things that I did learn is that given the confrontational nature of that profession, roughly fifty per cent of lawyers are wrong. That leads to some remarkable situations, but none more so or funnier than the stand-off that has arisen in Malawi between the JusticeMinister and the Solicitor General. The BBC handles the story best, so for all the explosive detail, go to

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12363852

I see that the Top Gear boys managed to upset the entire Mexican nation on Sunday by commenting unfavourably about their perceived national characteristics. The row has reached diplomatic levels, with  the Mexican ambassador proving that he was not asleep as Jeremy Clarkson suggested, by demanding an apology. Tough luck, Mexico. Why shouldn’t it be your turn? I didn’t see the show, but from what I’ve read, they stopped short of what they might have said, there being no references to murderous drug cartels, corruption at the highest levels of government and eye-watering levels of crime. The BBC’s defence of the terrible trio was that jokes based on national stereotyping are part of British national humour. Not quite; it may be a part of English national humour, but as Scots have been its targets for a couple of centuries, I’d like to dissociate myself from that claim. Unfortunately there is a lot of truth in it. Clarkson, Hammond and May are indeed a trio of irreverent xenophobic twats with no obvious respect for anything or anyone. They also have huge viewing figures and their show sells around the world.

Something else from this morning’s news: ‘The White House has admitted to having talks with Egyptian officials about how President Mubarak can be removed from office.’ What the hell does the future shape and direction of Egypt’s government have to do with Barack Obama?

Out of the blue a metaphorical hand grenade was thrown into the the Sky Television HQ yesterday, by a legal opinion in an appeal to the European Court of Justice by an English publican, against a fine of £8000 for breach of copyright. Karen Murphy’s crime? Showing English Premier League football in her boozer using a Greek satellite decoder rather than subscribing to the much more expensive Sky option. There’s a long way to go, but it seems likely that the European advocate general’s advice will be accepted by the court and that by accident, a pan-European TV licensing model will be created.

Not unnaturally, the Premier League is spitting feathers about this, as its current deal with Sky and ESPN is worth £1.78 billion. But many people on the other side of the argument will be spitting feathers also, as I am, at the revelation that British criminal law is being used  to enforce a fat cat monopoly that works in favour of Newscorp and Rupert Murdoch, and to the ludicrous situations which that has spawned. It’s going to take a while for the Murphy case to reach a conclusion, but if it leads to a fairer market-place, to sanity being restored to the football industry, and to the end of a situation where one unexceptional footballer is paid enough every week to feed ten thousand starving children, it can’t come fast enough. But will it work out that way? I doubt it; there’s too much money involved.

Incidentally, for those who didn’t know, there are websites where it is possible to watch live football streamed on to your computer.This is one of them. http://myp2p.eu/index.php?

Speaking of stunning reads, I’m pleased to note that ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’, a QJ novel that has nothing to do with crime and is only available in Amazon’s Kindle store, is comfortably in its political fiction Top 20. A piece of fun, and as my granny used to say, ‘If it’s no’ good, it’s no’ dear.’