Quintin Jardine's blog

The  rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then  leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and  again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese  Toastie.

The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit  and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because  word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie.  The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

——-

The next  night, the pub is packed.

In walks the rabbit and  says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese  Toastie, please  barman.’

The crowd is hushed as the barman  gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into  applause as the rabbit wolfs them down

———

The night after that  there is standing room only in the pub.

Coaches have  been laid on for the crowds of patrons  attending.

The  barman is making more money in one week than he did all last  year

In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and  a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please  barman,

The barman says, ‘I’m sorry rabbit, old mate,  old mucker, but we are right out  of them Ham and Cheese Toasties…’

The rabbit looks aghast.

The crowd has  quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears  his throat  nervously and says, ‘We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion  Toastie.’

The  rabbit looks him in the eye and says, ‘Are you sure I will  like it.’

The masses’ bated breath is ear shatteringly  silent..

The barman, with a roguish smile says, ‘Do you  think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know  you’ll love  it.’

‘Ok,’ says the rabbit, ‘I’ll have a pint of beer  and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.’

The pub erupts with  glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie.

He  then waves to the crowd and leaves….

NEVER TO  RETURN!!!!!!

—–

One year later, in the now  impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4  drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time.

When  he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white  form, floating  above the bar.

The  barman says, ‘Who are you?’,

To which he is answered,

‘I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent  your public house.’

The barman says, ‘I remember you.  You made me famous.

You would come in every night and  have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.  Masses came to see you and this place was famous.’

The  rabbit says, ‘Yes I know.’

The barman said, ‘I  remember, on your last night we didn’t have any  Ham and  Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one  instead.’

The rabbit said, ‘Yes, you promised me that I  would love it.

The barman said, ‘You never came back,  what happened?’

‘I DIED’, said  the rabbit.

‘NO!’  said the barman. ‘What from?’

After a short pause, the  rabbit said…

‘Mixin-me-toasties.’