Quintin Jardine's blog

I watched a DVD yesterday evening that I’ve had on my rack for a while waiting for the right moment. It ‘s called The Expendables, and it’s a Sylvester Stallone project, (starring, co-written and directed) also featuring Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Bruce Willis, and for no obvious reason, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Search through that cast and with the exceptions of Mickey Rourke and Bruce Willis, you will be struggling to find anyone who can act for toffee, and will deduce that it’s mainly about killing people and blowing things up. It sure does that, to a greater degree than any movie I can recall seeing before, and you don’t want to know what happens to the guys who are about to have their evil way with the heroine. If that’s your thing, go for it. If not, don’t let all those names lure you in there. There is however one marvellous exchange, after Sylvester has gunned down Dolph Lundgren, after an enormous car chase and fight.

Dolph: ‘Am I dying?’

Sylvester: ‘I shot you two inches above the heart.’

Dolph: ‘I’ll take that as a yes.’

Expendables 2 is currently in production, with most of the guys listed above and the addition of Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Chuck Norris who is legendary for something, although I’m not sure what it is. Since these are action movies it is worth noting that the youngest of the leading players waved goodbye to forty some three years ago, and that the oldest, the legendary Chuck, is a few weeks off seventy-two.