Home > General, Politics > The world economy explained with two cows

The world economy explained with two cows

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM 
You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM 
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM 
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION 
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.

AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows
One of them’s a horse!

 

Categories: General, Politics
  1. Norah Rothwell
    April 23, 2013 at 3:12 pm

    So clever and ,oh so true! Do you mind if I send it to some friends who would appreciate it?

  2. April 23, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    Not at all, just send them the link. The more blog readers the better.

  3. April 24, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    Brilliant. Spot on….You could always add of course.

    A SCOTTISH CORPORATION – You have two cows that you think are valuable and worth a lot of money but your neighbour tells you they are past their best and definitely won’t last for very much longer.He even utilises experts to confirm all this..
    This makes you sad, dejected and unable to perform to your full potential.
    Then unable to take the misery any more, you decide, as a last resort, to move somewhere else.and try something new.
    Lo and behold your new neighbour tells you your cows are very valuable and will provide milk for years and years.and years
    You are now a happy bunny once more

  4. April 24, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    That’s brilliant too, Andy.

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