Home > General > Who the **** is . . .

Who the **** is . . .

A few hours ago, just before 9am BST, the Duchess of Cambridge gave birth to her second child, a daughter.

A couple of hours later, an email hit my inbox: it was from Marks & Spencer. The heading was ‘The Royal Baby has arrived!’ and the message read ‘Shop M&S Baby!’ On principle, I don’t think I will.

That was crass, but no more so than Sky News’ coverage in the hour or so before the birth was announced.

It was fronted by Kay Burley, appearing bravely at around 8am on a Saturday without access to the make-up department. With nothing really to say, the old pro improvised by dragging Sky’s hapless royal-watcher around the assembling media circus. They paused beside the Ladbrokes blackboard, and its custodian, who told us in all seriousness that her employer was no longer taking gender bets but that its odds had been 4-9 in favour of the new arrival being a girl. ‘That means you have to put on £9 to get £4 back,’ she explained, providing living proof that most punters are idiots.

Odds on potential names had been chalked on the board, with ‘Alice’ showing as 6-4 favourite.

Seeing this, I remarked to my wife, ‘Maybe the bookies will be right, but if they’re not . . . could it be down to Roy ‘Chubby Brown?’

She looked at me blankly. ‘Work it out,’ I said. (By the way, I’ll have a £ on ‘Diana’, at 14-1 against, being in there somewhere.)

Moving on from the turf accountant, Kay latched on to the veteran photographer Arthur Edwards. Once he had his little step-ladder in place, she asked him when we could expect the new arrival.

He tilted his head and, even as inside the Lindo Wing Wills was giving one last shout of ‘Push!’, he replied, ‘Oh, we’ll still be here tomorrow.’

As any reporter would tell you, that shows you how much photographers know.

Categories: General
  1. Justin Fayre
    May 2, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    Did you see if Ladbrokes were offering odds on Princess Nicola…

  2. May 2, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    Probably. They’ll take your money on any protext. I did look for Pippa on the board; didn’t see it though.

  3. May 2, 2015 at 5:17 pm

    Personally I am delighted with the news as I am a Royalist, but I certainly had better things to do with my time this morning – out collecting with Rotary to buy Shelterboxes for Nepal! (Sorry Q, just thought I’d get my own bit of marketing in on the back of the Royal news!)

  4. May 3, 2015 at 7:53 am

    You’re welcome, Joy.

  5. Diana
    May 3, 2015 at 10:22 am

    Thank heavens she has arrived, safely and quickly. Now, maybe, the media can go back to real news. My main complaint, though, is the constant reference to Kate “Middleton” -it implies she is an unmarried mother!

  6. George Smith
    May 4, 2015 at 6:50 am

    Sky’s coverage reminded me of the Armstrong and Milller creation Terry Devlin.

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