Archive
Seems so
Entire global economic system depended on America not electing mad king | The Daily Mash
— Read on www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/entire-global-economic-system-depended-on-america-not-electing-mad-king-20250331255975
Clear and present
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/mar/29/what-is-the-smithsonian-institution
I have never understood why bedbugs should be seen as crazy, as the saying goes. POTUSes, on the other hand, that’s obvious.
Jurgen
Watching the Trivago ad, okay I know it’s scripted but I’m wondering whether Coote might have been right.
Covid five years on: the serenity of lockdown.
This might seem odd, but I look back on lockdown with fondness. In 2020, Eileen’s condition was such that we had been living a cloistered life, to an extent. With the constraints, things happened that worked in our favour, best of all the home deliveries that kept me out of socially distanced queues and the like. Exercise was no problem either in a place like Gullane, easier in a way with fewer people around as I pushed the wheelchair.
We had a carer, for a few hours every week, the sort of person who lights up everywhere she goes. My Friday evenings with the guys went on too, onscreen using Zoom.
We were happy, blessed and very lucky in comparison with the misery of millions. And every Thursday we clapped
Question
What idiot at Old Trafford authorised the sale of Scott MacTominay?
Things that PMO
There is a growing practice among TV drama producers to include a shot of a character reading a text on a phone. Usually they contain relevant information. Usually they are on screen for only a couple of seconds.
I have a Godzilla sized TV and good vision, but the only way I can read such images is by going back and freezing the frame, hardly conducive to an enjoyable experience.
Think on, folks.
14 years of Tory misrule, but they never got around to this …
Shit jobs will cure you, benefits claimants told | The Daily Mash
— Read on www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/shit-jobs-will-cure-you-benefits-claimants-told-20250319255666
LO*******L
Anyone who believes in Nordic secrets to happiness hasn’t met anyone Nordic | The Daily Mash
— Read on www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/lifestyle/anyone-who-believes-in-nordic-secrets-to-happiness-hasnt-met-anyone-nordic-20250318255639
The Empire strikes back
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/mar/18/canadian-actor-jasmine-mooney-detained-mexico-border
I know that the US is polarised and I have respect for my Republican friends. But even allowing for the Guardian spin, this is disturbing to say the least.
Pearly
Just a thought. Imagine if Bill Gates was President.
Research?!?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c62zwy0nex0o
How does one become an ‘expert’ in sexual strangulation? How does one research? Brings me back to the old adage, ‘Those who can do those who can’t…’
If only …
EU announces 100 per cent tariff on shite American TV | The Daily Mash
— Read on www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/eu-announces-100-per-cent-tariff-on-shite-american-tv-20250312255482
De Niro is right
Your guide to chortling gleefully at the Trump recession | The Daily Mash
— Read on www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/your-guide-to-chortling-gleefully-at-the-trump-recession-20250311255467
Reasonable question
Does President Trump actually know what he’s doing? He seems to be injecting bleach into the US economy.
Duncan Edwards
A story. When I was little, my dad, who was a teacher, was heavily involved with schools football, at local and national level. I think he was a selector for a while, as there were a couple of occasions when he went to away games in England with the Scotland boys’ team.
One of those, in the early 1960s, was with the senior squad, the Under-16s, to Wembley. I might have been six or seven at the time, but I remember this as clear as if he was still telling the tale.
My dad was a reserved man. He observed, he praised sparingly, and he never went overboard. Apart from one occasion.
He came back from the Wembley trip absolutely raving about one of the English boys, who was he declared, the best footballer he had ever seen, any age. He never changed that opinion. A couple of years later, that boy was a full international. And only a few years after that, he died in the Munich disaster.
As always, the Mash is close to the mark
Reform suffering consequences of all being mad bastards | The Daily Mash
— Read on www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/reform-suffering-consequences-of-all-being-mad-bastards-20250310255438
Charlotte Emma who?
I am feeling quite pleased with myself. Apparently this year’s overnight success, someone called (labelled?) Charli XCX is 32 years old and I had never heard of her until she won some awards.
I have a 14 year-old granddaughter. My goal in life is to show her that there is more to music than Charli and Camilla Cabella. So far, I’ve got as far as David Guetta.
Potty
Watching Stephen Kinnock, an English/Welsh Health Minister, this morning, it occurred to me that it’s time Labour stopped blaming previous Tory governments for all the country’s ills. This morning it was children’s dental health.
To be politically incorrect, if kids go to school not knowing how to brush their teeth properly, that’s not the fault of Rishi Sunak, Boris, Theresa or anyone else. It’s the fault of their parents, clear as daylight seen through Keir Starmer’s expensive specs.
In shovelling all the shit they can into Kemi Badenough’s front garden the government is hiding from the electorate a very obvious truth. The Tories’ years in power might have been curtailed if Labour had offered an acceptable alternative. But they didn’t. First they were led by Ed Miliband, the less able of two uninspiring brothers, then they took a lurch to the far left, and to the utterly unelectable Corbyn.
It was only when common sense took over and they moved back into Tony Blair territory that they recovered government potential. Even then Starmer would have nothing like the majority he enjoys had it not been for the unexpected intervention of Nigel Starmer.
So my message is, stop deflecting, for it’s your fault too. If you’re that good, go on and fix it.
… or get off the pot.
I watch a fair amount of Sky Sports and TNT. That means I see far more ads than is the case on other channels. I don’t like that, not last because I am paying for them. But what I dislike even more is the declining quality of the commercials that are shown, and in many cases their sheer bad taste.
Few people will be unoffended by the image of a woman sat on the toilet allegedly struggling with a bowel movement, (sorry, stubborn stool) or by the awful Peptobismol chorus. Then there’s the guy in the incontinence pants.
But it’s not just the subject matter that hacks me off. If you’re an advertiser surely you demonstrate your faith in the quality of your product through the quality of your advertising. On the other hand if your ads are crap (back to Peptobismol) and obviously made with minimal effort and cost, surely potential customers will draw the obvious conclusion.
And most of them are, shite.
Quintin Jardine's blog 