Quintin Jardine's blog

Lobster can’t believe he ended up in bloody Lidl.
— Read on www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/lobster-cant-believe-he-ended-up-in-bloody-lidl-20170112120043

Best tv ad just now: LIDL. It has a moment that really sticks it to its main rival.

I found the following online today, referring to the Trump administration and its policy of fast-tracking Federal executions.

“ It is worth noting that these executions have all occurred during the pandemic, at a time when states have stopped conducting executions due to the health risks involved.”

That’s an admirable, if ironic, policy. Let’s hope it spreads.

New twist in ‘Wagatha Christie’ legal clash between Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/twist-in-wagatha-christie-case-37gq7xdw3

We are prisoners and victims of a global pandemic, our economy is goosed, we are on verge of an uncertain exit from the EU with unfathomable consequences, but at least the lawyers are happily coining it.

The above is the number for the Covid vaccine help line. I called it today because my wife is on the priority list and so am I, as an unpaid carer.

There is one question that nobody seems able to answer, hence my call. We will be contacted, they say, through the NHS. However, all my interaction as a carer is through the local authority, and there is no bridge between the two. In other words, how will the NHS know who to contact?

I was connected, no problem, sat through the introductory chat, and selected the appropriate option. It rang for thirty seconds, maximum, until a voice announced, ‘I’m sorry , there is no one available to take your call. Goodbye.’ Buzzzzzz.

I have to say, that doesn’t fill me with confidence.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-55257817

I don’t like Ms Burley, but her tweeted announcement gave me a good laugh. I do like Beth Rigby, but I don’t understand why she’s only been benched for three months, given that she seems to have been equally guilty just by being there.

There’s a further comparison I can’t help making, with Dr Calderwood, the Scottish Government CMO. Her offence was less serious than the Sky birthday bash, yet it cost her her job.

It’s not an absolute truth but a heavy probability: that in Colin Farrell movies his character will wind up dead.

Chuck Yeager, first pilot to break the sound barrier, dies aged 97
— Read on news.sky.com/story/chuck-yeager-first-pilot-to-break-the-sound-barrier-dies-aged-97-12154822

A legend, and that’s not a word I use too often. If you don’t know his story, watch The Right Stuff.

National Lottery minimum age to rise from 16 to 18 next year
— Read on news.sky.com/story/national-lottery-minimum-age-to-rise-from-16-to-18-next-year-12155083

Trans man gives birth after using female sperm donor
— Read on news.sky.com/story/trans-man-gives-birth-after-using-female-sperm-donor-11897122

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-50707164

This is a sad story, but it reflects on a world I don’t know. I suspect that if I did I wouldn’t understand it.

The reopening of Aberdeen Art Gallery is a good moment to focus on the city’s wider cultural scene, and its great food, drink and shopping
— Read on www.theguardian.com/travel/2019/nov/25/locals-guide-to-aberdeen-scotland-10-top-tips-aberdeen-art-gallery

Greta Thunberg named author of the year by Waterstones
— Read on news.sky.com/story/greta-thunberg-named-author-of-the-year-for-compilation-book-of-speeches-11873143

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/nov/29/ohio-extreme-abortion-bill-reimplant-ectopic-pregnancy

My thanks to everyone who came to the launch of ‘The Bad Fire’, in Atkinson Pryce, my favourite book shop. Long live the independents. A special nod to Alex and Peter. Long time neither see.

Today’s the day for ‘The Bad Fire’ AKA Skinner 31, in which an old foe returns in a new guise. The event is marked by a interview with The Crime Hub. You can access it below.

https://thecrimehub.com/interview-with-quintin-jardine/

Five possible explanations for Farage being such a twat
— Read on www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/five-possible-explanations-for-farage-being-such-a-twat-20191112190695

Cat with five beds prefers laptop
— Read on www.thedailymash.co.uk/animals/cat-with-five-beds-prefers-laptop-20191111190671