Quintin Jardine's blog

I read that scientists may have found, or confirmed the existence of, the Higgs boson. Hallelujah, great day in the morning; we can all look forward to a better life.

A few years ago, at a book signing in Canada, I was approached by a gentleman of advanced years who leaned over the table and asked, sotto voce, ‘Which are you, Rangers or the ‘tic?’ When I replied, ‘Actually, I’m neither,’ he glared at me, hissed, ‘I don’t believe you,’ and walked away.

The old fool can believe what he likes, but what I told him was true. It is possible to be Scottish, follow football, and yet be a supporter of neither half of the Old Firm. But that doesn’t mean to say we don’t know the songs, and the chants; it’s difficult to avoid them. Therefore, when I read that Celtic FC had been fined €15,000 by UEFA for ‘illicit chanting’ at a recent Europa League tie, I understood what they meant, just as it didn’t have to be spelled out to me when a similar fine was imposed on Rangers five years ago.

Let me make it clear; I do not condone or excuse sectarian singing, chanting or behaviour in any way shape or form. I do believe it’s a pity that a couple of nice and otherwise inoffensive songs have become associated with the hatred between two football clubs, but if they’re off limits, so be it. However in recent years both clubs involved have done everything they could to stamp down on any offence caused, so it smacks of unfairness when each is singled out, and this is compounded when it is done in isolation, by a body based in a country which does not count English among its three native tongues and whose judges understand neither the language or the issues involved.

Singled out? Yes, absolutely. Glasgow does not have world exclusive rights to ‘illicit’ (surely a word chosen by someone who is not a native English speaker)  football chanting, or ‘illicit’ behaviour . . . such as that exhibited by Les Cules (lit; ‘The arses’), the Barcelona support who threw a pig’s head at their former player Luis Figo, when he returned for the first time as a Madrid player. (I know these guys; if they could have thrown the rest of the pig, they would.) Every time I watch a football match on telly, I hear singing that might give offence to many people. Some of it is funny. (I can never manage not to smile at  ‘Cheer up Peter Reid,’ sung to the tune of ‘Daydream Believer’.) Some of it is not. (The stuff that London clubs used to chant at the young David Beckham must have been very hard for him to take.) But I cannot recall any of it leading to action by UEFA against the clubs involved, or even action by their own national associations. Racist abuse gets everyone’s attention, as it should, instantly, but nothing else other than it seems, the Old Firm.

I would suggest to the Gnomes of Nyon that if they are going to set themselves up as censors of the stands and terracing, they should do so on a pan-European basis and crack down on ‘illicit’ behaviour in every one of their member nations.  If they’re not prepared to do that, they should trust those associations to do  the job themselves, as they and their member clubs have done, by and large, over the years. And there’s this also; the people who sing and chant in support of their clubs, most of them passionate and committed men and women who know what is truly offensive and what isn’t, are paying large slabs of money to do so. Don’t they have rights as well, and should they be undermined by a minority of idiots?

I’ve always thought that Nick Clegg was mostly wind and piss. Now I know for sure and so does everyone else. I have no idea what he thought he was achieving today by absenting himself from the Commons. But I do know this; if he can stay in Government after his public show of disaffection, he has no honour, no integrity and no courage.

I never thought I’d say that.

Just in at http://www.campbellreadbooks.com. A limited number of pre-release copies of  ‘As Easy as Murder’, the third Primavera Blackstone novel, in which our heroine takes to the fairways as her nephew Jonny makes his debut on the European golf tour, midst mystery and mayhem. Price £9.99 per signed (and dedicated if you want) copy, against an RRP of £12.99, P&P free in the UK. Just click on the link.

As all my friends and a few who aren’t are aware, I will be voting ‘Yes!!!’ in the Scottish Independence referendum, when, eventually, it takes place. However, until it does, we are stuck with the Westminster government, and must take an interest in its shape and performance. With that in mind I do not see how the Tory/LibDem  coalition can continue with any authority or honour. The fundamental principle of  Cabinet Government is one of collective responsibility. It has always been the case that when our Prime Minister has gone to an international congress he has been mandated, and when he has taken a decision that he believes is essential to British interests, he has been supported by his colleagues round the table. At least that’s how it’s worked until now, (Can we agree to forget about Clare Short?) until the deputy PM went on telly and disowned Dave Cameron’s veto of a European stitch-up conceived by two shifty political bullies who put their own national, and personal interests above everything else.

In times gone past, after disowning his boss Nick Clegg would have been on the back benches before the day was out. Indeed, a man of honour would have resigned, but I don’t expect that to happen today. No, I expect the LibDem leader and his slippery colleagues to continue in posts to which they should never have been appointed, given that for all their ballyhoo and posturing during the last General election, they actually finished a distant third.

How can they do this? Simples. On September 15, four days after the tenth anniversary of the Twin Towers outrage, another assault on democracy slipped by un-noticed. That was the day on which the Fixed-term Parliaments Act received Royal Assent. Under its provisions, the date of the next UK General Election has been set as May 7, 2015, with subsequent polls at five-year intervals thereafter. Early elections can be held only if two thirds of the House agree, without division, or if the sitting government loses the confidence of the House and no successor is confirmed within fourteen days.

In the present circumstances there are four scenarios;

1) Cameron sacks all the LibDems and goes it alone, daring the rest to bring him down.

2) Clegg takes his people out and leads his tiny army across the floor in the hope of buying renewed power in a Coalition deal with Labour.

3) The ill-fitting Coalition carries on as it is.

4) The Tories and Labour agree, and it would take their combined vote, to dissolve this parliament. (By the way, it would also involve a considerable number of turkeys voting for Christmas.)

Which of these will happen? It’s No 3 until someone has the balls to do something different.

What, other than immediate Scottish independence,  would I like to happen?

Well, frankly, I’ve had enough of Nick Clegg, the teenage arsonist, of Chris Huhne, who knows how to make a point or  three, of Councillor Vince Cable, wizened seer and man of four political parties in his lifetime, of Danny Boy Alexander, the political equivalent of Scooter the Gopher, and of all the rest of them, apart, maybe, from Paddy Ashdown and Charlie Kennedy. Last year’s new dawn in British politics has grown into a pretty rainy day, and it’s time to put up an umbrella. Westminster needs strong, clear and decisive government, of whatever hue, but not, definitely not, multi-coloured. Therefore I would favour another election, soon, probably in February.

Will that happen? I doubt it; the Tories would sweep in on a tide of Euroscepticism, and Labour know it. Hey, Alex! Any chance of bringing the referendum forward?

Just watched Stoke beat Tottenham 2 — 1 with a massive assist from the referee, who seemed to think it’s against the rules to give a side more than one penalty per game. Stoke are a horrible team with horrible fans who play the sort of anti-football which demonstrates why the English Premier league is not, in fact the best in the world, as the people who sell it on telly claim it to be. However, it’s about winning and they are very good at what they do. Too bad today’s referee wasn’t.

I’ve just received a couple of advance copies of ‘As Easy as Murder’, the third Primavera novel, which is scheduled for release on January 5. You can order signed copies now on http://www.campbellreadbooks.com, hardback £15.99 (RRP £19.99), trade paperback £9.99 (RRP £12.99). As always postage is free in the UK, discounted rest of the planet.

The retail equivalent of a Great White?

http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/bookselling/article/49815-amazon-backlash-continues-to-build.html

How about this for wisdom, from President Sarko and his friend?

“Never have so many countries wanted to join Europe. Never has the risk of a disintegration of Europe been so great. Europe is facing an extraordinarily dangerous situation.”

He said the eurozone economies still had a few weeks to decide, but that time was working against them.

“The diagnosis is that we have a few weeks to decide because time is working against us. If we aren’t in agreement on this, I fear that we won’t be able to agree on anything. That’s the analysis.”

Mrs Merkel has said changes to the European basic treaty are necessary. She said all 27 member states in the EU had a duty to Europe, and had to work together to overcome the crisis in the eurozone.

National egos and interests had to be put aside, she added.

Those would be national egos with the exception of the French and the Germans, then? Both Sarkozy and Merkel are facing elections very soon. Are they playing to the European gallery, or their own, just as Dave Cameron has gone to the Marseille  conference with his card well marked by his own back benches?

1. BREAKING NEWS

   The A9 has been closed in both directions – northbound from Dunkeld and southbound from Killiecrankie – as a result of falling trees. Tayside Police has shut the northbound carriageway at Inveralmond to prevent further traffic from accessing the road, and is in discussions with neighbouring forces about southbound traffic. Several hundred vehicles are believed to be on the road and efforts are under way to inform motorists about the situation.

This is currently on the Lothian and Borders police website.

Due to the current severe weather conditions being experienced, the following Police Stations in West Lothian will be closed to members of the public from 1330hrs today:

• Linlithgow
• Whitburn
• Armadale
• West Calder

I’m a supporter of an excellent e-zine, The Scottish Review, published by Kenneth Roy, a very distinguished Scot, and a contemporary of mine. It’s always a good read, but today, Kenneth has excelled himself.

http://www.scottishreview.net/index.shtml?utm_source=Sign-Up.to&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=255431-Named%3A+Scotland%27s+gold-plated+public+pensioners

Dunno about you, but I have a real aversion to the ‘Quickquid’ type ads that are becoming more and more prevalent on our commercial telly. I accept that a short-term loan facility that’s easier to arrange than a conventional bank overdraft can be attractive to folk who are cash-strapped, or whose employers are casual about wage deadlines. (Hearts footballers come to mind.) However my dislike of the burgeoning Consumer Finance Industry comes from my perverse insistence on reading the small print. When I do, I discover that these payday loans carry interest that can run up to an APR of 4000%. On top of that most of them seem to carry an arrangement fee. In other words if you borrow say £500 to tide you over till payday, you don’t actually get £500, but that amount less the company’s charge . . . which, you can bet, will be additional to the accruing interest. There are dozens of these operators around, throwing money at people who are either under too much pressure to consider the implications, or are simply soft touches for the brash TV commercials, populated by flash geezers and smiling women with dead eyes.

The Citizens’ Advice Bureau has its eye on the situation, and has asked the government to tighten regulation of a business that’s now turning over £2bn annually, according to estimates. The Consumer Minister’s response is that such a step could push people towards illegal moneylenders. This is the same minister whose government is presiding over a situation that has allowed the Santander bank, and no doubt others, to impose overdraft charges that can, according to a report I read at the weekend, run to the equivalent of an APR of 800,000%! Tell you what, Dave and Nick, how about raising the tax threshold by 50%, so that lower earners can hang on to enough of their salaries to see them through the month, in the face of uncontrolled rip-offs like escalating energy bills and transport costs. Seems to me that Westminster is the friend of rapacious banks, utility and petrol companies, and by association the enemy of the people it exists to serve.

In my eyes, the Consumer Finance Industry is yet another symptom of a diseased society, alongside inner city riots, irresponsible strikes, and rampant political correctness that all too often overrides common sense. As a United Kingdom, we’re suffering from the weak government that a coalition inevitably brings, with the further complication of an even weaker Official Opposition, under a leader who is the biggest gift to the Tory Party since Michael Foot. Is it any wonder that more and more Scots are crying out for independence, as I am?

Welcome back, Tiger. Okay, you only beat seventeen other guys on a course you know like the back of your hand, but the game needs you, as a benchmark for the young guys and for the ‘gasp’ factor in everything you do.

Quite a few, and every one a smartarse. Yes, (he sighed) I know; in rural France, Hotel de Ville equals Town Hall, but I’m quirky and like to set these traps.

Yes, Jeremy Clarkson is an arse, but he works for the BBC. The Corporation above all should have known as much, and that when they stuck him in front of a camera and allowed its presenters to invite him to outline his views on public service strikers, they need not expect the response to be politically correct. Therefore the producers of The One Show are every bit as much to blame for the offence that his ill-expressed humour undoubtedly caused as is the man who uttered it. The same unit has an unfortunate record of walking away from controversy caused by the show’s guests, for example in the case of Carol Thatcher, who was vilified and cast out for a private remark in case it blew back on the programme director.

If he had been appearing on Question Time, with an intelligent chair rather than airheads, a sophisticated audience that knows irony when it hears it, and robust fellow panellists to take up the challenge Clarkson threw out, it would have made good television; it might have attracted a few comments on Points of View, but that would have been it.

In the aftermath, in my humble, anyone who interprets his remarks as anything other than totally hyperbolic is an even bigger idiot than Jeremy himself . . . only Jeremy isn’t, not by a long shot.

Q. Why was he on The One Show in the first place?

A. To plug his new DVD.

Q. Will his sales suffer because of all the nonsense?

A. Don’t be daft; Jeremy isn’t.

I heard a story today; true, but definitely no names, locations etc, and no pack drill. There’s this person who’s employed by an English local authority to do a certain job. Okay. As we all know, councils are under pressure to show economies, staff cuts etc. Suddenly, out of the blue, this person finds out that the job is being ‘out-sourced’, to use the buzz phrase. The person continues in the same role, but now has a private sector employer . . . a firm set up by the son of a member of the council that took the ‘outsourcing’ decision. The difference for the employee is that where the salary payments from the local authority always hit the bank on the due date, now they are regularly delayed, with all the potentially disastrous consequences for people managing a tight family budget, with mortgage and utility payments that can’t be delayed and the threat of crippling overdraft costs.

My first thought when I heard this? What Would the News of the World have done in its heyday with a story like that?